Boyfriends come and go, friends become close and move away, cities change and apartments shift. But one thing that stays constant- one thing you can always count on - is cupcakes. Below are six solid reasons why nothing will ever come between me and cupcakes. Because some bonds are made to last.
1. If I'm Feeling Sad, They're The Ones That Will Pick Me Up
Better than a call to my mother, better than arms to snuggle into, better than a glass of convenience store wine with a friend — a giant bite into a cupcake will piece me back together when I fall apart. That red velvet gets me. Better than anyone else I know.
2. When I'm Procrastinating, They're My Cheerleaders That Tell Me To Keep Going
If I'm feeling particularly lazy and just want to marinate on the couch all day, a box of cupcakes nudge me along and get me to work on those pressing deadlines. They know what buttons to push and strike a deal: For every task ticked off my to-do list, I can devour one. I get a nibble for every paragraph I finish, and a nip for every page written. If it weren't for you, cupcakes, I'd be still living in my mother's basement.
3. They Keep Me Company In Coffee Houses And Bakeries
Say no one wants to hang out with me on a Saturday afternoon? They're all jerks but that's okay; I have one more contact I can call. I just need to phone up my old pal Choco Choco Chunk and she'll take up the seat across from me and keep me company, no problem.
4. They Always Make It To My Birthday Shindigs and Dinner Parties
You know how some friends make up phony excuses to not come over because it requires a train across town, or forget a birthday or space on a milestone? Cupcakes never do. They always make it, always show up. And they're always there celebrating one success or other. Birthday lunches, promotion hooplas, giant achievements - they're always first at the dinner party and pop over on a regular Wednesday just to hang out. They're like...best friend material.
5. They Know Just What To Say After A Breakup
Your friends mean well, but sometimes all their "plenty of fish in the sea" and "you'll get through this" one-liners make you want to bury your head further into your pillow. You know who always says the right thing, though? Cupcakes. Why? Because they're the strong silent type, that don't say anything and just listen to you rant and cry, letting you get it out of your system with zero judgement. And if sometimes you end up making out...well, that's just the type of relationship you have.
6. They Give Me The Feels: They Make Me Weak
It's been years and our love affair hasn't run dry. I can still remember the first day we met: sweethearts from grade school, meeting at our second grade bake sale. More love than for any man I've fallen for, more butterflies than a first date during a spring evening, more impatience than a week apart during a business trip, my passion for cupcakes runs deep and wild. I can't resist them, I can't stay away from them, and when I see them I lose all cool and suaveness and babble sweet love notes and promise to give them the world on a string. It's true what they say: When you're in love, you just know.