So you’re home for the holidays again – and romantically unattached? Don’t worry about it, because we’re here for you. And so is Love Actually, that fluffy pair of dorky Christmas socks that you know you secretly love, and a whole tray of gingerbread cookies. We won’t tell if you don’t.
Trust me, it’s perfectly acceptable that you’re nobody’s ball and chain, because you can get as hideously drunk as you want at each and every holiday soiree you attend. And because you stand on your own two feet and you’re proud of it, baby; that’s why.
Then again, we never said it’s not going to be awkward. Here, have some more eggnog. You can never go wrong with more egg– okay, yes, yes you can. But at least it helps take the edge off all these uncomfortably awkward scenarios, right?
You’re going stag to the office holiday party.
So you RSVP’ed to the company holiday party without a +1.
You’re already gearing yourself up for the weird, pitying looks people will give you when they think you’re not looking. I mean, when did being single become akin to having an incurable disease?
All jokes aside (and with every effort aimed at remaining PC here), I’m not ailing from some strange and formerly unheard of sickness. I just happen to be unaccompanied by a romantic partner right now, and as far as I can tell the only person making it weird is you.
Older relatives ask well-meant but extremely invasive questions.
“So when are you getting married?”
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend yet?”
“Seeing anyone special?”
We can’t decide which one’s worse, getting your cheeks pinched by well-meaning grandparents or this. Oh, wait, this must be the adult version of that.
You’re getting all too used to being put at the kids’ table.
But really though, you’re getting a little tired of being surrounded by little’uns at every family gathering. It’s not like they’re your kids; as your mom says, you have to work on the actually getting a boyfriend part first.
You can be a total Scrooge and/or Grinch and not even feel bad about it.
You know, if that’s your thing. Hey, no judgment here.
In the midst of all the holiday cheer, you’re suddenly convinced you’re going to be alone forever.
...but then you realize you fully do not have to undergo any of the relationship drama that is introducing your S.O. to your family for the first time.
No but seriously, this is the only time of the year in which you are reminded time and time again of your passage on the Good Ship Singledom – and in less than a positive light. Well, guess what? You’re not the only one on board. So shirk the bad juju already and get on with your bad self. C’mon, that eggnog ain’t gonna spike itself!
One word: Mistletoe.
Is there anything more awkward than being caught under a suspiciously low-hanging branch of mistletoe with someone you decidedly do NOT want to be kissing?
And what is actually up with that wacky holiday tradition, anyway?
Speaking of awkward... The struggle that is finding a New Year’s kiss.
The pressure that is put upon singletons on New Year’s Eve alone is enough to make me almost contemplate staying home. Almost.
Because the truth is there’s so much potential in the air during the holidays, and it all culminates on New Year’s. Plus, I have to admit that I’m a total sucker for it; every year, I fall hook, line and sinker. I can never resist going out, trying my luck, and suffering through National Hangover I mean, New Year’s Day with the now all too laughable thought of well-meant resolutions running through my throbbing head.
But why not get your hopes up a little – after all, who knows who you’ll meet? But more importantly, who knows what an awesome time you’ll have... with your best friends by your side, and the promise of a new year ahead of you.