A long time ago some guy named Shakespeare wrote, “Parting is such sweet sorrow,” and while he was right, what’s even more sorrowful is when you’re about to part and you don’t even know it. But, hey, it happens. You could be going along, in your relationship, totally miserable and wanting out, and have zero clue that you’re on the brink of breaking up. You might not even know that you want to breakup or that your partner wants to end things, because sometimes life just gets in the way and the realization isn’t quite clear.
But, if you take a few minutes, look at what your relationship has become, you might have the epiphany that you need. Here are seven signs you’re headed for a breakup and may not even realize it.
1. Your interest in sex and intimacy has become non-existent.
Of course sex, cuddling, PDA and all that fun stuff cools off after the honeymoon period, but when the interest is just totally gone and you’d rather do anything else, things aren’t going so great. It’s one thing to not be in the mood sometimes, but it’s another thing when you’d rather organize your sock drawer than get it on.
2. You and your partner can go the entire day without any contact and it doesn’t faze you.
It’s not just that you it doesn’t faze you, but it doesn’t even cross your mind that you no longer exchange midday texts to check in, to share a joke, or to even say hello. Hell, you don’t even know the last time you and your partner exchanged a text that wasn’t something along the lines of, “Bring home milk. We’re out.”
3. Talks for the future are starting to dwindle.
At the height of your love, you probably talked about trips you’d take next year, the savings account you’d open together after you move in together, or where you’d like to settle after your first baby is born. But when that’s gone it’s a sign that the relationship has stopped evolving. When things stop moving forward, it means they’re spiraling toward an end.
4. You’ve stopped taking each other into consideration when making plans.
When I decided to go to Spain for an entire month and never once mentioned it to my partner, I probably should have known something was up. But I didn’t. When I finally told him I was taking off for the month and he could come visit if he wanted, I should have seen that as a big blaring sign of the direction we were headed.
5. You feel indifference toward them, but aren’t sure why.
While you once wanted to cuddle or know about each other’s day, that’s no longer. It’s like you can take them or leave them, and when they’re out all night with their friends and don’t check in, you’re not all that concerned. It’s not that you’ve stopped caring; it’s that you just feel sort of “meh” about them and the relationship.
6. Your relationship feels like a hassle.
You’re not really sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line the fun just stopped existing. You stopped laughing so much and now it’s just a hassle to decide on a movie, to sit next to them on the couch, figure out who’s going to take out the trash, and to even share the bed. And the worst part is that it’s been going on for months and months, and you’ve been hoping it’s just a phase.
7. All the cute stuff they used to do is just straight-up annoying.
Once upon a time his snoring was cutest thing in the world! You could sleep through it, as if it were a gentle melody in your ears. But now it’s no longer the same. His snoring is aggravating, the way he eats is off-putting, and it’s no longer adorable that he pulls at his eyebrow when he’s deep in thought. Don’t worry; if you’re headed for a breakup, he’s probably having similar realizations about you, too.