Sure we have couples from our favorite TV shows and movies that are totally worthy of our admiration, like Jim and Pam fromThe Office. Their wedding episode still makes us cry, and we're not afraid to admit it. However, there are plenty of iconic Hollywood couples that really don't deserve our daydreams or our binge watching Netflix obsessions. Here the couples that are actually very unhealthy:
10. Carrie and Big
We are going to start with one of the most celebrated couples in girl obsession history: Carrie and Big. And we are going to make a total example out of them. This was a couple that lasted 10 years and two weddings all because Big is one of the most selfish jerks ever. Still think there love was a fairytale? Let me refresh your memory:
Remember the time that he called her a bitch because he dragged her to some crap party on the upper east side where they only served clear alcohol because of the carpet, WTF is that?
Or the time that he was going to take her on this awesome vacation and ALL she asked is that he tell her she was the one? I mean seems like a pretty simple request to me, three words: you're the one. In my experience you don't whisk somebody away on vacation that you've been dating seriously unless you're considering that they could be the one. Just saying.
Or when she called the fact that he had an extra toothbrush head for her the most promising moment of their relationship thus far. Carrie, it's a toothbrush head, and we're pretty sure it comes for free when you buy the toothbrush. This is not love, this is desperation.
Dare we forget when she came over and said she would be willing to make it work long distance with Big in Paris and he gave the "only move to Paris if you want to" BS?
Then he came over and seduced her anyway and she used the term "exquisite pain" to describe her long term relationship.
Or when she called herself a masochistic for loving Big? Yeah that sounds real healthy Carrie.
Lest we forget the affair:
Then when he finally got his sh*t together he still stood her up at their wedding, literally, the day of. Then he managed to win her back with the MOST budget and poorly thought out apology email EVER. Carrie, seriously, raise your standards.
Let's just say we'll be teaching our daughters NOT to romanticize the toxic relationship that is Carrie and Big. Now that you get the gist of where we're going with this list, let's go through some others.
9. Ariel and Prince Eric
It's a classic story really: teenage mermaid meets airhead boy, falls for boy, abandons her family and then changes everything about herself to win the boy over. Like I said, a classic story of twisted romance.
Bonus: Eric is brutally hot for a cartoon and he is a prince after all. I don't think many of us girls would hesitate moving to London and totally changing our personalities if we had a shot with Prince Harry. See? We aren't conditioned to aspire to unhealthy relationships at all.
8. Olivia Pope and President Fitzgerald Grant
This is a hard one for me to put on the list because I am totally Team Fitz and I secretly want Fitz and Olivia to end up together, because I do believe they love each other. HOWEVER, Fitz is a man child who is very insecure and cannot be faithful to his wife nor Olivia. Whenever Olivia tries to move on with Edison or Jake (both of whom do not have near enough spunk for her) he swoops in and ruins it for her even though he's MARRIED. Because if Fitz can't have Olivia, then nobody can. Look at how sad he makes her:
So, so sad. Selfishly he gets her hopes up. Fitz, if you love her, let her go! (But not before the series finale, would really like to see them end up together even though it's not healthy.)
7. Rachel and Dex
If you have ever seen a movie that glorifies cheating, really bad bangs and smoking hot guys acting like total cowards, then you have probably seen Something Borrowed. Rachel is the mousy lawyer who has been in love with her hottie law school BFF, Dex, basically forever. Naturally, instead of speaking up she lets her selfish and beautiful friend Darcy swoop in and get engaged to Dex. In total sheepish fashion, Dex and Rachel begin an affair where Dex repeatedly lets both Darcy and Rachel down until Rachel and Dex finally sack up and be together. And he lets her think it's okay to say insecure stuff like this:
And after confessing his love to her, he makes her witness this:
Dex, you're the worst.
6. Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper
One of everybody's first teenage love stories: the boy from Chino woos the spoiled hottie next door and seasons of poor decisions and immaturity ensue. Ryan was just trying to get on his feet, and Marissa was on a war path for self destruction and cries for attention. And she planned on bringing everybody around her down with her.
Yes Marissa, you are totally dragging Ryan down, if you haven't noticed he has this need to save everybody around him. Like the time she forced Ryan to go to a family party with her then got wasted and caused this scene:
Um, no. You should love people for who they are.
5. Sandy and Danny
If you're like me, then you grew up knowing the word to every single song from Grease. Unfortunately, the moral of Grease's love story was that to be cool and win the guy, you need to start dressing like a slut, smoking and drinking, otherwise you will be the cheerleader that is constantly getting made fun of by the bad boy you like and his hoodlum friends. Needless to say, this story is far from a fairytale.
Hint: if your guy is hiding you on your date behind a bunch of menus because he's afraid to be seen with a straightedge, that is NOT a good sign. Well you crumbled real fast Sandy:
LISTEN TO FRENCHY! GF is so right, boys who make you cry are so not worth it.
Lies, Danny, lies. What you really meant was "It's just the beginning as long as you start putting out and wearing insanely tight black pants. Also red lipstick and a way sexier haircut."
3. Romeo and Juliet
Unless you were a badass and cut English class in middle school, then you probably read the story of Romeo and Juliet, two teenagers from different sides of the track that end up falling in love and then committing suicide because they're immature and their communication skills suck.
Seriously, think it's a good idea to ask a girl you've known three days to betray her family, marry you and then convince her to commit mutual suicide when things don't work out?
Relax, Romeo. People survive heartbreak all the time.
Unless we want middle school girls going around falling for the wrong guys way too fast and engaging in drastic measures, then maybe we should rethink the average English syllabus.
2. Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly
There are few people who crush a good Hollywood love story more than Meg and Ryan and Tom Hanks, so when they paired up for the dial-up classic You've Got Mail we were expecting all sorts of healthy romance. Instead, we got a rich guy who basically catfishes this nice woman who runs a cute bookstore. Not only does he stand her up and then lie to her repeatedly both in person and via email, he literally ruins her bookstore putting her at the risk of bankruptcy. If that is modern day romance, I want NO part of it.
Yes Joe Fox, you made us feel that way repeatedly throughout the movie:
1. Capt. Rafe McCawley and Nurse Lt. Evelyn Johnson
We have to give props to Pearl Harbor for trying to find the silver lining in one of the most tragic events in American history. Nurse Evelyn Johnson gets swept off her feet by cocky Captain Rafe played by Ben Affleck. He has one cheesy line after another and secretly bullies his best friend and total hottie, Danny. PS Josh Hartnett where have you been? Please do another movie where you need to be shirtless soon, thanks.
Well when Rafe "dies" during war and then comes back years later only to find out that through the grieving process Evelyn and Danny have gotten together, he naturally acts like a total child about it.
Turns out Evelyn is pregnant with Danny's child so when Danny and Rafe mend their friendship and go on a top secret mission, and Danny ends up dying, Rafe has no problem stepping in and wooing Evelyn all over again...raising her and Danny's child as his own. Because what girl doesn't want a love story like that? Evidently Rafe gets what Rafe wants.
Danny, we were team you all along. RIP.
Originally published by Dagney Pruner.