When it comes to online dating, there's still a lot of stigma out there: It's for people that don't have the charisma to pull off a hello in a bar, for lonely hearts that live in their moms' basements, for playas that just want you to come over in the middle of the night, blah, blah, blah. Whatever the misconception you're currently buying into, I'm here to tell you none of that's true. Sure, you sometimes come across your rogue play-boy, but the good far outweighs the occasional Fabio. While plenty of people have found happy relationships by sending a sideways winkie face, there's another perk that online dating can give you: It'll take you right out of your dating slump.
Curious as to how? Let's go over the details:
1. It Gets You Out There
It can be easy to stay inside your apartment, binge watching How to Make a Murderer weekend after evening after weekend, while holding onto the idea that, nowadays, you just can't meet anyone. While I'll admit it's harder to come across your standard Meg Ryan romcom-type of hello of bumping into someone while carrying your groceries, it's not impossible to meet a charming date out there. Not when you have a list of apps tripping over themselves with handsome strangers ready to take you out for a drink or two.
Even if you don't want to tell your grandkids that you met pop pop on a free app, at the very least it'll get you out there. It'll get you comfortable with meeting up for first dates, bantering with strangers, and getting chummy in someone else's company. It's a good first step away from your Netflix.
2. It'll Open You Up To New Types Of Guys
Do you keep going out with the same kind of guy, just with new shoes? Do you keep falling for the struggling writer, the one that uses you for groceries and your Hulu account? Or is it the grownup frat boy, that would rather go out with his friends on a Thursday night than grab tapas with you? We like what we like, but it's also a fact that we have an aversion to trying something new and unfamiliar when we've got the choice.
Which is why online dating will help you out of that rut – you come across a series of guys that you'd probably never meet on your own accord (whether because you live across town from each other, or have different ideas of what a fun bar is,) and you take a chance. Something about their two-sentence profile made you smile and you decide to toss them a hello.
And next thing you know you're splitting a mac n cheese appetizer with a new type of person, not entirely hating the whole ordeal.
3. It'll Get You Excited To ~Play The Field~ Again
When you're trapped in a cycle of jammie pants and takeout Chinese cartons, going out on a date has the same ring to it as meeting your friends at a 2 AM bar: Ew.
Not into it.
But once you go out on one non-committal date of a quick beer, then two dates, then three...you start remembering how fun it is to spend some time getting to know some one and setting off sparks. Your flirting moves start coming back to you, laughs start rolling, and you find yourself smiling and making the poor guy develop a crush on you. It's fun, and agreeing to a casual date will remind you of that.
4. It Lets You Figure Out What You Like And What You Don't Like
The beauty of Tinder dates and the like is that they have a “meh, why the hell not” attitude about them. You're just meeting someone for drinks after work – why not just go and see what happens. Because of that, you're a little more open to who you agree to meet than, say, if you've been set up by friends at a dinner party. And since you're meeting a wider variety of guys, you start letting yourself figure out just what you like and what you don't like. You start crossing out certain types of tropes: Writer guys might be a tad too pretentious for you, finance men are a little too Cancun-esque for your speed, and so on.
5. You Can Use It As A Chance To Go Out In The City
If you're going to take the time to actually comb your hair tonight, you might as well use the opportunity to go somewhere fun. Instead of just going to your neighborhood bar around the corner (#convenience,) ask to try out that new Korean barbecue place across town, or to sample the best bloody marys in a neighborhood you don't usually venture into. Picking out dates that actually have the potential to be fun and get you playing in the city will remind you that this whole dating scene is actually really fun if you let it be. It doesn't have to be all interview questions and awkward silences – not when champagne and chicken waffles are involved.
6. It Has The Potential To Remind You People Don't Suck
If you've had your feelings hurt by a phase-out or a cold drop a couple of months ago, it can begin to feel very Bridget Jones-y in your apartment. I'm talking about walking around with a duvet over your head, eating Ben & Jerry's by the carton. Instead of harboring that shitty feeling, going on a couple of dates with a couple of rad guys can get you to realize there are actually a lot of awesome people out there. Even if you don't click the way you should, just spending time with interesting, sweet, thoughtful people can get you to realize that not everyone is a closet jackass. Tinder restores your faith in humanity — who would have thought?
