When you get out of a relationship after a long time, it can feel like shell shock at first. Suddenly your partner-in-crime is no longer around and your life feels a bit empty without that person taking up their usual corner in your world.
It can be hard in the beginning, as you try to get your footing back in the single world, but once you get through the rocky patch, you become accustomed to the new single you and you realize that life on the other side of your past relationship is an adventure in itself.
Here are 10 things that happen when you’re single for the first time in a long time.
1.You suddenly have so much time on your hands.
Like, SO MUCH TIME.
In fact, at first it’s hard to know what to do with all that free time that used to be sucked up by your S.O. In the beginning, it can seem scary, but then once you get used to the idea, you find that all that time that you don’t have to share with anyone else is awesome.
2. You get to rekindle your friendships.
As much as no one wants to admit it, when we’re in relationships, sometimes our friendships suffer. Whether it’s because we don’t give them the attention they deserve or because our partner and friends don’t get along, friendships are put on the back burner, but being single puts them front and center again.
3. You realize that maybe you prefer the other side of the bed instead.
When we’re in relationships for a long time we become accustomed to certain ways of doing things. But it’s in being single for the first time in so long that we get to delve into other behavior that may not have crossed our mind before. Like, oh wow! You prefer the left side of the bed and you don’t like omelets for breakfast after all.
4. You stop paying so much attention to when you’re supposed to get your period.
Remember how, no matter how safe you were, every month you’d all but throw a party when your period would show up? Now, being sans a relationship, it’s like whatever. No more need for thoughts of “what if?” or parades when it does come.
5. People immediately want to start hooking you up with someone “perfect for you!”
One of the most aggravating parts about being single for the first time in forever is that everyone has someone who’s SO PERFECT for you. You could still be drying your tears over your breakup and your best friend is texting you photos of some guy in her office who is clearly your soulmate.
6. You can be selfish about anything and everything.
One of my favorite things about being single again is getting to be selfish. I don’t have to share, I don’t have to check my schedule with my partner to make sure we’re free on such-and-such date to do that couple-y thing… I just roll solo and do it on my terms.
7. You have fewer concerns.
You no longer have to argue about paying bills, where you’ll spend the holidays, or deal with each other’s ridiculous hang-ups. You’re free in so many ways, especially in the way of drama and wasted energy on the insignificant stuff.
8. You have more money to spend on things for yourself.
Fun fact: According to a study from 2015, people in relationships spend almost $300 more a month than single people. What does that mean for the newly single person? An extra $300 to put in a savings account or spend on whatever your heart desires.
9. You become a relationship guru.
Even if you don’t want the job, your friends will turn to you for relationship advice even more than when you were in a relationship. Because you’ve gone through the whole cycle of a relationship, and come out the other side, your friends will think you have some insider knowledge on love and life – and you do, even if you don’t know it yet.
10. You finally get to know yourself again.
Depending on how long you were in the relationship, enough years could have passed that you’ve grown and matured in ways that you don’t even realize until you’re on your own again. If you’re relationship started when you were 25 and ended when you’re 30, there’s a whole five years there of a side of you that you may not have even met yet. Being single after so long allows you to get to know the you outside of your relationship, and you might even find that that person, the relationship-less person, is the one you prefer best.