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6 Ways To Take Back The Dating Scene

It's not like the guy is the only one that can make a date memorable.

6 Ways To Take Back The Dating Scene

Who says it's completely up to the guy to make or break a date? Usually when we shuffle back from a not-too-stellar outing we push all the disappointment towards the man: He chose a sports bar with 28 different flat screens, he was really quiet and so the night dragged on, he wore Crocs and that's just unforgivable...

But rather than waste an evening on a lousy date, why don't you shoulder some of the responsibility and take back the dating scene? Real talk, the person you can most count on is yourself, so why don't you ensure that you have a fabulous time every time you're forced to leave your Netflix queue. Below are six ways to take back the dating scene — follow them and you're dating game will change. 

1. Decide When and Where

6 Ways To Take Back The Dating Scene

Don't do the standard "I don't care where we go" response. If you want an awesome night, ensure it will be awesome. Don't trust him to pick the nearest sports bar by his house where you can try not to burp over Miller Lites all evening long. Use sights like Sosh to find interesting bars with great moods, like low-key speakeasies or a cozy, sophisticated bars that look like the inside of a dean's office. Choose whatever floats your boat — and it will float if you decide on the when and where. 

2. Be The Outspoken One

Just because you're the female doesn't mean you should be blushing behind a fan while he cracks all the jokes and tries to make a lasting impression. Channel your inner Cary Grant and come in with charm and charisma — you sweep him off of his feet. Think about it: While you're trying to woo him, you'll be having such a great time flirting and trying to make him nervous. How can that kind of evening go wrong? Get into that first date with the idea of charming someone's socks off. 

3. Let Yourself Primp

6 Ways To Take Back The Dating Scene

Even if you're just grabbing an impromptu drink down at your neighborhood bar, let yourself get a little excited over the idea of a date. Usually we like to tell ourselves it isn't a big deal and just slide into our most comfy sweater, but why not make an event out of it? Set your hair in a new style, put on some poppy lipstick, put on something that feels special, or spritz some chi-chi perfume on — anything that'll make you feel like Grace Kelly primping at her bathroom mirror. It's fun to indulge in the feminine, and primping for an event always adds a little more excitement to the whole ritual. If you don't like spending time over the pots and tubes of makeup than skip this, but if you like test driving a little cat eyeliner of adding some smoke to your eyes, go ahead. Ham it up!

4. Take the Pressure Off of Yourself

Granted I too need a glass of wine while getting ready to settle my nerves before a first date, but that doesn't mean I'm not excited to get in there and make him equally as nervous. While first dates can have a lot riding on them in terms of potential, they're also meant to be fun! Don't let the sweaty palms take that away from you.

In order to keep perspective, trick your mind into thinking you're meeting up with a new friend, and not a potential love-of-your-life. We act differently with our friends than with people we're trying to impress, and it's usually in a more fun, engaging way. 

Another great way to take the pressure off of yourself is to double book: Give your date two hours to hang out, and then have drinks or dinner planned with friends right after. That way the meet up feels more informal and less high-pressure, and if you really click you can always make a date for your next meetup. 

5. Think Of A Few Favorite Stories Beforehand

6 Ways To Take Back The Dating Scene

On your way to the date — whether if it's in the backseat of your cab or while you're waiting behind a red light — think of a few favorite stories you can share when the conversation slows down. This will not only eliminate the jitters over having to sit in silence, but it'll also set the tone on what version of yourself you're going to be putting out there. Are you going to share your adventurous side by having that road trip story handy? Or your go-getter side by mentioning how excited you are about running this one project at work? It'll help mentally set the tone on how you want to present yourself, and you'll feel more in control and at ease. 

6. Keep An Open Mind

It can be easy to keep a mental tally in your head when you're in the middle of a first date. Check, he has a job. Uncheck, he lives with 14 roommates. Check, he likes traveling and being spontaneous. Uncheck, he has gel in his hair. Rather than seeing how he or she measure up to your measuring stick, instead keep an open mind and notice how hanging out with someone a little more different than you could be fun.

He can introduce you to new activities, pull you out of your shell, introduce you to a new way of thinking, get you to explore a new part of the city — there's so much potential there! So fold up the checklist and change your frame of mind. For every uncheck, see what interesting things it could bring to the table.

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