You guys, I’m so happy that Taylor Swift has finally found happiness. After a few dud relationships (and the amazing albums inspired by them), she and Scottish mega producer Calvin Harris have seemingly settled down. I mean, for as much as two very rich superstars can settle down while still touring and producing and being very, very famous. Even though they pair has only been dating since February or so, according to Harper’s Bazaar, they’re even moving in together. Ah, young love.
But I have to admit — I’m worried. What if they do break up? I mean, even if Calvin and Taylor are moving in together (to which I hope they live in New York City because then I’d have a chance of seeing them strolling arm-in-arm through the West Village), their schedules are insane. Taylor’s 1989 Tour is moving through cities across the world now, and Calvin is producing and writing hits all around the globe (he’s penned and produced mega jams like Rihanna’s “We Found Love” and his own “Feel So Close,” which he sang himself).
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I hope that there’s not too much distance with these two lovebirds. But I just like to talk out my fears. Preparing for the worst, what would happen if they broke up? I have a few ideas.
Taylor Records An Album With No Love Songs
Whether fair or not (it’s not), Taylor Swift is expected to release a series of breakup/love songs every time she is in and out of relationships. And while that’s great for her fans, because the girl can seriously write a song, I’m sure that she’s over it. That’s why I think that, should Tayvin split up, Taylor will record a party record with nary a love song at all. Maybe something electronic? I’m sure Calvin’s influence has rubbed off somehow.
Calvin Forms A DJ Super Duo With Skrillex
We all make awful choices when we’re in mourning, usually involving haircuts or job switches or apartment moves. Calvin would be no different, but instead of cutting all of his hair off or dying it a new color, he would get a Skrillex-inspired spiky wig and decide to go on tour with his hair partner. Listen, we all make mistakes. It’s just part of the mourning process.
Taylor Goes Into Hiding
Taytay is papped all over New York City: She’s hanging out with Karlie and Gigi, she’s coming back from the gym, and she’s dining at the city’s hottest new restaurants. To nurse a broken heart, I would guess that Taylor would go into major hiding. All of the paparazzi in the city would be aghast — where is Taylor? How could she have left? I picture her going full Grey Gardens in her Rhode Island house, scarf around her waist and singing to the raccoons.
Calvin Forms A Boy Band With Harry Styles
To nurse a broken heart, Calvin could hang out with another Englishman who knows what it’s like to break up with Taylor Swift — One Direction singer Harry Styles. Maybe they can form a boy band. We know that Calvin can sing a bit, and One Direction just lost Zayn Malik. It could be a match made in musical heaven.
Phew. Now that I’ve imagined the worst, let’s hope for the best, shall we? Long live Tayvin!