Whether you’re single or in a relationship, everyone could use a little help in the love department. If you’re struggling to meet your partner’s needs or maybe you’re curious how to entice your latest date, then you might want to turn to the stars for some help. Astrology can be a helpful tool when it comes to understanding ourselves and the people we love (or the people who we might love) — from dealbreakers to what lights them up.
Know your SO or crush’s zodiac sign? Perfect. Then you’re equipped to unlock the best relationship advice for their zodiac sign and yours, according to Dana DeFranco, astrologist and podcast host of Allegedly Astrology.
Turn on: Sexual chemistry and cat and mouse games.
“Aries has Leo on the 5th house of dating, romance, and hookups and Leo is the sign of the performer. This means Aries is putting on a show during the courtship stage of a relationship,” says DeFranco.
Don’t get it twisted, this doesn’t mean Aries is fake, but “they know dating is often a competition and they want to be the best. Libra on the 7th house of committed partnerships means that, while Aries is born chiefly concerned with themselves, they are formidable long term partners. (Libra is the sign of relationships, after all).”
Turn off: Low or mismatched libidos.
“Most people will have a lower libido than Aries but they need sex more than most signs, so if their partner’s libido is significantly lower than theirs it’s not likely to last,” says DeFranco.
Turn on: Someone punctual who can plan a date, as well as a life.
“Taurus has Capricorn on the 5th house of dating, romance and sex. Capricorn is one of the chief planners of the zodiac, associated with business acumen and hardcore drive,” says DeFranco.
This means they want a partner who is eager to succeed in the bedroom too.
“With Scorpio on the 7th house of marriage and committed partnerships, Taurus wants a deep love like no other since Scorpio is the sign of depth and the underground.”
Turn off: Disloyalty.
“Loyalty is super important to them, so if their trust is tested, they will wage psychological warfare on their partner and all parties involved,” says DeFranco.
Turn on: Someone who enjoys 1-on-1 “platonic” hangs; conceptual emotion.
“Gemini has Libra on the 5th house of dating, romance and sex, and Libra is the sign of relationships,” says DeFranco. “This means that, while Gemini may seem disinterested or hard to read, they are wont to romanticize people in the early stages of dating or hooking up, even if they’ll never tell you about it.”
Turn off: When you bring up commitment.
This is because, according to DeFranco, they have Sagittarius on the 7th house of marriage and committed partnerships, “Sagittarius is the sign of world travel and freedom to roam. It’s not that Gemini can’t commit, it’s that they balk at the idea of it. Let them bring it up or give them an ultimatum.”
Turn on: Commitment.
“Cancer has Scorpio on the 5th house of dating, romance, and sex. This is going to make them possessive from the jump,” says DeFranco. Which is why if you know you like a Cancer don’t be afraid to let them know.
Also, since they have Capricorn on the 7th house of commitment and marriage, DeFranco says Cancers “respect people who can set boundaries and who are goal-oriented.”
Turn off: Anyone who makes them feel unlovable.
According to DeFranco, Cancer has Libra on the 4th house of childhood trauma and deep-rooted issues. Since Libra is the sign of relationships and commitment, Cancer feels most comfortable and secure when they are in a relationship. Conversely, “it will be a huge turnoff if someone makes them feel unlovable.”
Turn on: Someone who knows how to give a sincere compliment.
Since Leos have Sagittarius on the 5th house of dating and romance (and Sagittarius are the writers of the zodiacs), they are suckers for a good love letter – or anything that makes them feel desired.
But beware of laying it on too thick, says DeFranco. “Sagittarius is known for always telling the truth so Leo knows when their dates are just sucking up. Leo also has Aquarius on the 7th house of marriage and committed partnerships. Aquarius is the sign related to freedom. Like Sagittarius, Aquarius is fiercely funny and honest. As a result, Leos loved to be teased for who they really are by someone who knows them deep down.”
Turn off: Someone who negs them or uses other pick-up artist techniques.
“Leo has Cancer on the 12th house of hidden enemies and Cancer is ruled by the Moon, the fastest moving planet in the zodiac. This can make Leo’s confidence shaky from time to time and sometimes lovers become enemies overnight.” Ultimately, says DeFranco, anyone who “negs” them or tries to put them down will not only hurt them but damage any trust they had built up between them.
Turn on: A purist with good hygiene.
According to DeFranco since Virgo has Capricorn on the 5th house of dating and romance – and Capricorn is nothing if not regimented and the sign who most embodies the phrase “work hard, play hard” – one way to attract a Virgo is by showing up on time and one way to keep them is by letting them be of service to you.
“Virgo is the embodiment of the acts of service love language and letting them perform tasks when offered (ahem, especially in bed), or even asking them for help or advice will make them feel needed,” says DeFranco. “Virgos are efficient and they love to feel needed.”
Turn off: Selfishness.
“Virgo, like any healthy adult, is attracted to confidence and self-assuredness,” says DeFranco. “But they will be totally turned off by someone who can’t see outside of themselves, or someone who needs a pat on the back after performing the most menial of tasks.”
Turn on: Give enough space to make them want you – let them text you first.
“I am by no means suggesting you ignore them or express disinterest, but Libra is one of the most charming signs of the zodiac so it might be tempting to reach out all the time,” says DeFranco. “Libra has Aries on the 7th house of marriage and committed partnerships which means passion, ardor, and a strong sense of self are the traits that will lock them down and make them stay for the long run.”
Turn off: Someone who critiques their every move or someone who judges their devotion.
“Libras may want to be in a devoted partnership for life, but make no mistake, if someone is willing to treat them better they will be gone before you know it.”
Turn on: A deep connection.
While Scorpio is primarily known as broody and moody, according to DeFranco, because they have Pisces on the 5th house of dating, romance, and sex, they are looking for a connection that will rock their world.
“Pisces is a mutable water sign known for empathy and keen intuition,” she says. “And Scorpio absolutely melts when they have a crush.”
Turn off: When they feel like they aren’t being cherished by their partner or when they think their partner is keeping something from them.
“Scorpio has Taurus on the 7th house of marriage and committed partnerships and Taurus is the sign most associated with material and physical security. Both Scorpio and Taurus tend to run a bit possessive, which can lead to jealousy and discord in relationships,” says DeFranco. “Especially if they think their partner is hiding something or trying to make them jealous on purpose. Direct communication is key with a Scorpio partner. They honor truth over perfection.”
Turn on: Competition and the thrill of the chase.
Flirting with a Sagittarius is a good way to let them know you’re interested, says DeFranco, then let them see you flirting or talking with others in your vicinity.
Because Sagittarius is the sign of the philosopher with Gemini, the sign of ideas, on their 7th house of marriage and committed partnerships, Sagittarius only commits to partners who they find intellectually stimulating and generally hilarious.
Turn off: Pessimism and miserable people.
“They’re compassionate human beings who can withstand the ebbs and flows in relationships once they’re committed, but if negativity is your resting state, it’s unlikely this match will work long term.”
Turn on: Someone who has a dream or goal and a 68-step plan to achieve it.
“For Capricorn, the passion of the dream is alluring and the drive to accomplish it shows solid potential,” says DeFranco. Because they’re often stoic and career-driven, a Capricorn’s heart seems impenetrable, but for a select few who they let in, “It is pure magic. Because they have Taurus on the 5th house of romance, dating, and sex, Capricorns are low-key hopeless romantics.”
But sometimes you won’t know it. Since they also have Cancer on the 7th house, DeFranco says they may seem cold upon first meeting them. But if they like you, “They’re going to want to snuggle all night long for the rest of their lives.”
Turn off: Anyone without goals and people who they deem lazy or lacking in potential.
“For Capricorn, one part of falling in love is letting their impenetrable guard down long enough to let it in. This sounds intimidating, and in a way it is, but for Capricorn slow and steady wins the race. If you’re trying to win their heart, just do your own thing, whatever that may be.” Just make sure you’ve got a plan.
Turn on: A freethinker who can make them laugh.
Aquarius has Gemini, the sign of ideas, on the 5th house of dating, romance, and sex. According to DeFranco, this means Aquarius is smart, fun, and can feel nearly impossible to pin down.
“What some may think is an off-color joke could be a pickup line for Aquarius,” says DeFranco. “It’s not the provocation that attracts them, it’s the willingness to be different and break from the pack. If this isn’t your thing, it’s definitely going to be their thing, so laugh at their jokes and try to keep up.”
Turn off: Anyone who makes them feel ordinary.
“Most of us are ordinary people living ordinary lives, but all Aquarians will do something their own way, or have something that makes them stand out. Acknowledging this quality from time to time will be foundational to a happy relationship with them.”
Turn on: Make it known you are interested in them – in all the ways.
“Pisces has Cancer on the 5th house of dating, romance, and sex, which means they’re a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets, and want to be treated as such,” says DeFranco. “Cancer is ruled by the moon, so planning dates by the moon could also be a tactic for getting off on the right foot if you are a Pisces or if you’re dating one.”
Turn off: Anyone who feels aloof, disinterested, or robotic.
“Pisces are unlikely to maintain contact if they feel like they’re talking to a bot,”says DeFranco. “If you’re so smitten with them that you don’t know how to act, you can mitigate this by letting them know you’re interested but that they make you nervous. They have boundless empathy and this will feed their ego for a good week or so.”