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Making Them Accept Me: How to Find Social Acceptance

Leighton+Meester in Leighton Meester at LAX"What else can I do to make them accept me?"

Finding social acceptance can be a tricky task at any age, in any environment. The feeling of isolation affects nearly everyone at some point in their lives, accompanied by frustration over a lack of resources with which to address the problem. While there are definitely ways to raise your esteem in the eyes of others, it's generally a lot more productive to work on self-acceptance, first and foremost.

Think about your reasons for wanting others to accept you. Why, exactly, does it matter to you what they think of you? Do you have a particular admiration for the individual or group that has caused you to feel ostracized? In many cases, people find their anxiety alleviated when they realize that the judgments are coming from those who feel marginalized or threatened themselves. And if you found their acceptance, would you want to be part of a group that willfully hurts other? Why would you need to earn a cruel person's respect?

A lack of social acceptance can be dangerous, in that it often leads people to experience a loss of self-esteem. But remember that those who refuse to offer acceptance are likely not seeing the full picture—they won't allow you to get close, so how could they possibly know who you really are? Try to focus on the things that are uniquely you, the abilities and tendencies that you are proud of.

It might seem like no one understands you, but there are probably plenty of people available who would be happy and willing to talk you through your current situation. If it's not your family, friends or teachers, there are numerous hotlines and therapy groups out there for those with social anxieties.